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3: Put First Things First

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This is where habit 1 and habit 2 merge. Being proactive and beginning with the end in mind naturally brings you to a place of goal management. What is important to you? If someone were to see your day to day activities, would they see you taking actions on those things?

In Real Estate, putting the important things first is hugely important. If you don’t either your transaction will fail, or you and your agent (hi! hello!) will be miserable, as well as everyone else involved in the transaction. For example: were you to go home shopping, and become enamored with homes well above your price limit THEN get pre-approved, it becomes nearly impossible to find a home that will make you happy.

As I write this, our state is in a lockdown. No non-essential employees can work. No one can leave their home, unless it’s for a specific need to sustain life… What a great time to sit back and read a few books, to work on organizing goals and priorities. I am, at my day job, one of two who have to report to work, out of our normal nine. We are blessed to be largely sheltered from the madness that seems to be out there. Hospitals have suddenly become scary places. Stores have empty shelves and people in lines when they need to be far apart. We can’t much control the world around us, but when we put our “first things first” we can effect change on those things that are within our power to change. Ourselves. Our relationships with our loved ones. Our homes. Our relationship with God. If ever there was a perfect time to reach out and catch up, to get to know your Creator – now is it.

When this lockdown passes, we will find a new sense of freedom, for things that until now have been taken for granted. We will have SO MANY things to do, to catch up on… or will we? Yes, of course, I’ll get to go on listing consultations again, and showings, and sell properties – but it will be an interesting shift, to see how life changes as a whole. If you were used to eating out every night, and suddenly you’ve found that you like cooking – you may also find that you have more money left over in your budget every month. You may find that you have more to put into savings to buy that home you’ve always wanted… but more importantly, I surely hope that the slower pace, deeper relationships that we were forced into will continue. That families will get to know each other again. When this lockdown passes, will you be able to put first things first?

Here is a bit from the 7 habits website:

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST®

Execute on most important priorities.

To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There’s no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it’s all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities. 

PLAN EVERY WEEK:

1. Connect with mission, roles, and goals.

2. Schedule the Big Rocks.

3. Organize the rest. 

quadrants


Habit 1 says, “You’re in charge. You’re the creator.” Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that’s not all it’s about. Habit 3 is about life management as well–your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. What are “first things?” First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2. 

“Putting first things first means organizing and executing around your most important priorities. It is living and being driven by the principles you value most, not by the agendas and forces surrounding you.”
DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY

2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

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End In Mind

“People are working harder than ever, but because they lack clarity and vision, they aren’t getting very far. They, in essence, are pushing a rope with all of their might.”DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY

Real Estate transactions can benefit greatly from this concept. I like to have a series of conversations with my clients to let them know what we will be facing. The first, is an overall picture of what we are intending to accomplish. That often appears easy, “I want to sell my house.” or, “I would like to buy a house” – but to be perfectly honest, if it were really that easy, I wouldn’t have a profession. Once we get into the why, the how, the other factors that come into play, it always helps to create a plan. Many times for buyers, it’s good to refer to that plan later when we experience “mission creep” – suddenly instead of looking at the homes meeting the criteria you initially wanted, you’re wanting to see ones out of your price range or with very different features… Often mission creep is ok, if during the search you start to realize that you actually want something different than you did initially… but if that mission creep goes on without evaluating our initial plan, there is a likelihood that one could get caught up in the moment and find themselves in a home they didn’t want as much as they thought they did, or sacrificed too many other objectives and goals to obtain.

Why a series of chats and not just one initial one? The simple answer is: overwhelm. It is just too overwhelming to pay attention and take it all to heart. An overview with follow up conversations allows for me to get all of the important points across when they are most important. This is especially important in Real Estate, as the “under contract” phase is often a roller coaster. Many find themselves wondering if it really is worth all the headaches, or if they really do want to say goodbye to their house so full of memories.

In a less “Real Estate-centric” application, we use this concept very strongly, and hopefully very effectively, with our oldest, Cameron. Asher is 2 and doesn’t respond well to reasoning, just yet, hahaha. With Cam, we like to look at the goals we have for him, and when his choices fall short of those goals we have a chat about it. So many times interpersonal relationships experience issues when the involved parties have different goals or different understanding of shared goals. By ensuring that we are still on the same page and still have the end in mind, it helps take the confusion and frustration out of such chats, and helps us be unified in a common goal, instead of fighting over the approach to that shared goal.

From the website:

“UNDERSTAND THE END RESULT

Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen. 

Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. 

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision. ” franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-2.html

I still have my original mission statement, from when I attended a 7 Habits seminar, as a wind turbine technician/crew leader, back in 2012 or so. We were to make it “SMART” (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound)… and adapt them as needed. Mine wasn’t necessarily all of those things, but it shows up once a month on my Google Calendar to remind me of my “end in mind”.

“Seek positive challenges, avoid negative focuses, help others to find their own direction. Spend less time daydreaming and more time making dreams come true. Less time focusing on things out of my control, more time controlling the things I need to control. Reassess and maintain the end goal – not be distracted by the steps to that goal. Shrug off the negative, leave behind a positive legacy. ”

Much, in life, has changed. I have a new day job, I have a new career, I have a family… I have so many different goals and responsibilities now – but the basic ideas in my original personal mission statement stand true. Interestingly, my focus as a crew leader, to help those in my crew, has morphed into a Real Estate practice, where I help those I’m lucky enough to work with achieve their goals in often the biggest financial decisions of their lives. Do you have a mission?

1: BE PROACTIVE

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I meant to start this “series” of blog posts last week, but things have been a bit crazy with the covid-19 scare – I know, I know, the irony isn’t lost on me. It is, however, a perfect example of why it’s important to stay committed to personal development in general, and this one of the 7 Habits in particular.

Focusing on things we can’t change is human nature. More to the point, it has been pushed farther and farther into our minds from our birth by the media, social media and other predominant leaders in our society. To put it bluntly, it sells. Being in sales (Real Estate), I am also a pretty prime target for other salespeople. Since many of them tend to prey upon agents, I’ve become even more aware than I was as an American consumer: is this product or service worth my investment? The currency of media/social media is not necessarily dollars and cents at our level – it’s in time and focus.

The more time and focus you put into the things that others would have you focus on, the less time and focus/energy/ability you have to spend on the things that are actually important to you, the things that align with your goals, ambitions, dreams. Not only is it really good thing for me to be reminded of, it’s also something I wanted to share with those unfamiliar with the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

For the next few weeks, I will be posting about these habits, and how we can make use of them in life and in Real Estate. Real Estate is my profession, my passion – but it isn’t everything. My deeper passion is the people I’m able to help along the way. I’m by no means a “life coach” or a “guru” or anything so exciting as all that, but I do fervently believe that we can learn a lot from each other. I am always learning things from my wife, kids, friends, clients, coworkers, even often times my dogs… Everywhere you look is an opportunity to learn something. Because of the platform I’ve been blessed with as a Realtor, my “classroom” is here for those willing or bored enough to attend.

Back to Habit 1. This is an excerpt from the website:

“HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE®

Responsible for behavior, results and growth.

Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. ” https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-1.html

To put it in the perspective of my struggle with my personal distractions, the more time I spend focusing on the news and the social media wall, the less I get done for myself, my family and my clients. This, inevitably, leads to fewer clients and a far less satisfying life for myself and my family. The more I focus on the things INSIDE my sphere of influence, the more those things blossom and grow. The more I focus my thoughts on the things I CAN change, the better I do at those things. Ultimately, my faith in Jesus Christ leads me to put such matters in His hands, but I’m also expected to be a good steward of all things. My time. My money. My relationships. My job(s). I used to struggle with the idea of being a servant, a steward. The older I get, the more I realize that my life really isn’t about me. It’s about how I’m using the gifts and abilities I’ve been given. How I’m helping others. How I’m leading my family. How I’m loving those around me. As with many things in life, the truth we see in front of us often is found in the bible. Much of personal development is strongly rooted in the scripture, regardless of how much it’s been whitewashed. The parable of the 5 talents is a pretty good illustration of Habit 1:

Matthew 25:14-30 English Standard Version (ESV)

The Parable of the Talents

14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants[a] and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Ok, Ok, enough preaching, enough teaching… as always, if you have any questions or comments about these thoughts, leave them below or shoot me a text, email or even an old fashioned phone call!

Faster Than Normal Real Estate

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SQUIRREL! As a young teen I was diagnosed with ADHD. I hadn’t thought much about it, but I was able to do things most of the kids couldn’t do – and unable to do some of the things they could. Namely, concentrate on things I didn’t find interesting. I could, however, hyperfocus on things I did find interesting. I’d usually have any and all literature and history books read within the first few weeks of school. I kept up with the rest of my classes just fine, but it was always a struggle with the inevitable words I absolutely hated to hear, “But you have so much potential.” Or, “If only you would apply yourself”.

For years I just dealt with it, one way or another. In school it was medication, which I couldn’t stand. Afterwards, I just “tried harder” or found tools that helped, such as music without distracting words, or finding places I could be free from distraction to do important work or studying. A few years ago I found an audiobook (I listen to a great many audiobooks), entitled “Faster Than Normal” and gave it a listen. I think I’m up to my second or third listen now, but my first since I’ve had a blog, so I thought I’d share some takeaways in being “faster” than “normal” in general and how it effects my approach to real estate in particular

Luckily (or perhaps unluckily when you look up the average income in our industry) I thoroughly enjoy real estate. Enjoying it allows me to hyperfocus. For those unfamiliar with the term, hyperfocus is a deep, intense state which allows me to be far more productive than I usually am – and according to experts, “faster” than the “normal” people who haven’t been blessed with ADHD.

I like to think I lost the “H” somewhere in my twenties. I’m no longer hyper and can hardly remember being hyper – but I can see it in our boys, which is the reason I recently decided to give the book another listen. I also recommended it to my wife with the warning that it could come across as insulting. I don’t really see any reason to look at people who are earnestly trying their best in day to day life as “better” or “worse” than myself, or each other. I think stating that someone is “slower” than you is insulting, however true you may feel (or be able to scientifically prove) that may be.

Anywho, back to the point: how it affects my approach to real estate. I am ALWAYS reviewing and tweaking my tools, my approach and myself for a better, more efficient, effective and enjoyable experience for all involved. I have much of my real estate workflow automated. I digitally track each transaction with reminders popping up to tell me when something is due. I don’t like the idea of a deal falling apart. My client/customer/friend has a vested interest in that deal. I, of course, make a commission when that deal closes – but to be honest, my commission is a pretty minimal decision making factor for me. I truly enjoy what I do. If it were all about the money, I’d work some overtime at my day job and make more per year than I do with real estate. I greatly enjoy helping people. I’ve found that real estate is a way I can help people in a huge way. For the average American, their home is their most valuable asset. For the average entrepreneur, their business real estate is their biggest asset. Helping people with the buying and selling of these assets is the biggest impact I can have with my given interests and abilities.

If you, or someone you love, is blessed with ADHD (even undiagnosed), I highly suggest checking out “Faster Than Normal” by Peter Shankman for both tools to manage it and a good perspective on what it’s like for them and how to grow your relationship stronger by better understanding it.

Now entering the blogosphere…

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After a bit of a “dust in the wind” lifestyle of traveling around the US working on wind farms, I decided to come home to my “forever” house and my “until retirement” job, at the Armenia Mountain Wind project. As the years passed, I left the job and outgrew the house – funny how those plans all ended up like dust in the wind as well.

When I bought my first house I was relatively young and absolutely inexperienced. I had a REALLY bad experience with the first listing agent, the deal fell apart and the house disappeared from the market. A few months later, it came back on the market. Not knowing any better, I called up the new listing agent and arranged a showing – with a local contractor I knew to accompany me to do an “inspection”. My first indication that things might not be ideal is when the contractor said goodbye to the listing agent and said he’d see him on the next job… as apparently they had a business relationship I was previously unaware of.

Regardless, having grown up in construction (primarily electrical work), I figured the house seemed sturdy enough and the contractor’s blessing of the roof, foundation and other things I didn’t entirely trust myself on was good enough. I put in an offer. After the negotiations were finished, I was about where the top end of my “comfortable” price range ended. I was pre-approved for way more than I could see myself paying every month, and opted to chop that number in half, or a little less. Soon, I had my first house… using the listing agent as a dual agent.

As the years passed and I found what an awful idea it was not to have an actual inspection (I spent three years digging a crawlspace, jacking a house up, replacing the main beam and most of the joists before a full gut and remodel), it was time to be done with the house and buy a bigger one for my growing family in the correct school district (I was also unaware, as I was single without children, that the bus ride to the assigned school was over an hour each way, and we had to meet the bus a few miles down the road – they didn’t pick up at our house).

Luckily, this time around, I picked a buyers agent. An old friend who did real estate on the side. About the same time, a buddy of mine got into real estate with a splash – he bought a controlling interest of a real estate brokerage. He was looking for agents. Other than giving him my agent’s number I didn’t put much thought into it… until my journey into personal development brought me to the question: “How can I make more than $xx.xx per hour?” – and the realization that most of America’s millionaires were salespeople. I got back in touch with this newly minted mogul and discovered that he was willing to recruit brand new agents – and I signed up and started my courses… While finishing my finals for my first semester of electrical engineering… while I was working a full time job… and remodeling a house… and looking for/buying/moving into a new house.

My eventual entry into the world of real estate brought me to a bit of a wry, humbling chagrin: most of my life I tried to avoid “following the path” of those before me… but here I was, more or less, following the footsteps of my grandparents. Straight out of high school, I joined the United States Air Force – not the Army, like my paternal grandfather or the Navy, like my maternal grandfather… and as drawn as I was to the Marine Corps, I felt the Air Force would better prepare me for some of my eventual goals (as well as having the best chow halls); upon seeing my testing results, I was recommended for a career as an electrician. My father was an electrician. As much as I loved him and admired him, I wanted to forge my own path… I signed up as a crew chief, turning wrenches on aircraft. *shrug* it was just a back up plan anyways, I joined to be a Pararescueman. The elite of the elite. 18 year old me was unaware that you had to swim like a fish to become one of those crazy fellers, so turned wrenches I did – before I got out to play with wires, with my dad. From houses to businesses to factories, to wind farms and pipeline compressor stations – I walked a path that started in his footsteps, in a manner of speaking. My mother’s parents had a small real estate brokerage in Sylvania, PA when I was growing up… my entry into real estate was another droll step along the paths of my fore-bearers. My grandmother had already passed, long before I passed my licensing, but my grandfather was alive long enough to see me pass my tests and get my first listing. It brought me great joy to see how proud he was.

A sobering realization occured once I got into real estate: not only was it far harder than I had imagined – the money was much less than the “$xx.xx per hour” I had come to expect working highly dangerous, highly technical jobs. As a matter of fact, most local agents, if they were the sole breadwinners, would be living in poverty. But, I didn’t give up. Someday I may make enough from real estate to “retire” from my day job – which luckily is very flexible and accommodating of my real estate career. In the meantime, I will chase down my passion: helping others.

It brings me great joy to help people figure out what exactly they want and achieve it. Often it starts with an “I’ve never owned a house, but I’d like to” or a “This house is just too big anymore, it’s time to get a smaller one, a single story” or something similar… eventually it turns into an achieved goal and often a repeat customer – much like my “forever home”, many thing in life change far more than we expect. The most important thing in real estate is not the property; it’s the people. The relationships I’ve built with some truly interesting people are far more valuable than the commission checks I’ve cashed. I get to learn. I get to teach. I get to help. I get to experience far more than I would ever experience as a homeowner/technician/husband/father/insert the rest of my roles here… I get to experience life with friends new and old.