“People are working harder than ever, but because they lack clarity and vision, they aren’t getting very far. They, in essence, are pushing a rope with all of their might.”DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY

Real Estate transactions can benefit greatly from this concept. I like to have a series of conversations with my clients to let them know what we will be facing. The first, is an overall picture of what we are intending to accomplish. That often appears easy, “I want to sell my house.” or, “I would like to buy a house” – but to be perfectly honest, if it were really that easy, I wouldn’t have a profession. Once we get into the why, the how, the other factors that come into play, it always helps to create a plan. Many times for buyers, it’s good to refer to that plan later when we experience “mission creep” – suddenly instead of looking at the homes meeting the criteria you initially wanted, you’re wanting to see ones out of your price range or with very different features… Often mission creep is ok, if during the search you start to realize that you actually want something different than you did initially… but if that mission creep goes on without evaluating our initial plan, there is a likelihood that one could get caught up in the moment and find themselves in a home they didn’t want as much as they thought they did, or sacrificed too many other objectives and goals to obtain.

Why a series of chats and not just one initial one? The simple answer is: overwhelm. It is just too overwhelming to pay attention and take it all to heart. An overview with follow up conversations allows for me to get all of the important points across when they are most important. This is especially important in Real Estate, as the “under contract” phase is often a roller coaster. Many find themselves wondering if it really is worth all the headaches, or if they really do want to say goodbye to their house so full of memories.

In a less “Real Estate-centric” application, we use this concept very strongly, and hopefully very effectively, with our oldest, Cameron. Asher is 2 and doesn’t respond well to reasoning, just yet, hahaha. With Cam, we like to look at the goals we have for him, and when his choices fall short of those goals we have a chat about it. So many times interpersonal relationships experience issues when the involved parties have different goals or different understanding of shared goals. By ensuring that we are still on the same page and still have the end in mind, it helps take the confusion and frustration out of such chats, and helps us be unified in a common goal, instead of fighting over the approach to that shared goal.

From the website:

“UNDERSTAND THE END RESULT

Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen. 

Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. 

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision. ” franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-2.html

I still have my original mission statement, from when I attended a 7 Habits seminar, as a wind turbine technician/crew leader, back in 2012 or so. We were to make it “SMART” (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound)… and adapt them as needed. Mine wasn’t necessarily all of those things, but it shows up once a month on my Google Calendar to remind me of my “end in mind”.

“Seek positive challenges, avoid negative focuses, help others to find their own direction. Spend less time daydreaming and more time making dreams come true. Less time focusing on things out of my control, more time controlling the things I need to control. Reassess and maintain the end goal – not be distracted by the steps to that goal. Shrug off the negative, leave behind a positive legacy. ”

Much, in life, has changed. I have a new day job, I have a new career, I have a family… I have so many different goals and responsibilities now – but the basic ideas in my original personal mission statement stand true. Interestingly, my focus as a crew leader, to help those in my crew, has morphed into a Real Estate practice, where I help those I’m lucky enough to work with achieve their goals in often the biggest financial decisions of their lives. Do you have a mission?

I meant to start this “series” of blog posts last week, but things have been a bit crazy with the covid-19 scare – I know, I know, the irony isn’t lost on me. It is, however, a perfect example of why it’s important to stay committed to personal development in general, and this one of the 7 Habits in particular.

Focusing on things we can’t change is human nature. More to the point, it has been pushed farther and farther into our minds from our birth by the media, social media and other predominant leaders in our society. To put it bluntly, it sells. Being in sales (Real Estate), I am also a pretty prime target for other salespeople. Since many of them tend to prey upon agents, I’ve become even more aware than I was as an American consumer: is this product or service worth my investment? The currency of media/social media is not necessarily dollars and cents at our level – it’s in time and focus.

The more time and focus you put into the things that others would have you focus on, the less time and focus/energy/ability you have to spend on the things that are actually important to you, the things that align with your goals, ambitions, dreams. Not only is it really good thing for me to be reminded of, it’s also something I wanted to share with those unfamiliar with the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

For the next few weeks, I will be posting about these habits, and how we can make use of them in life and in Real Estate. Real Estate is my profession, my passion – but it isn’t everything. My deeper passion is the people I’m able to help along the way. I’m by no means a “life coach” or a “guru” or anything so exciting as all that, but I do fervently believe that we can learn a lot from each other. I am always learning things from my wife, kids, friends, clients, coworkers, even often times my dogs… Everywhere you look is an opportunity to learn something. Because of the platform I’ve been blessed with as a Realtor, my “classroom” is here for those willing or bored enough to attend.

Back to Habit 1. This is an excerpt from the website:

“HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE®

Responsible for behavior, results and growth.

Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. ” https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-1.html

To put it in the perspective of my struggle with my personal distractions, the more time I spend focusing on the news and the social media wall, the less I get done for myself, my family and my clients. This, inevitably, leads to fewer clients and a far less satisfying life for myself and my family. The more I focus on the things INSIDE my sphere of influence, the more those things blossom and grow. The more I focus my thoughts on the things I CAN change, the better I do at those things. Ultimately, my faith in Jesus Christ leads me to put such matters in His hands, but I’m also expected to be a good steward of all things. My time. My money. My relationships. My job(s). I used to struggle with the idea of being a servant, a steward. The older I get, the more I realize that my life really isn’t about me. It’s about how I’m using the gifts and abilities I’ve been given. How I’m helping others. How I’m leading my family. How I’m loving those around me. As with many things in life, the truth we see in front of us often is found in the bible. Much of personal development is strongly rooted in the scripture, regardless of how much it’s been whitewashed. The parable of the 5 talents is a pretty good illustration of Habit 1:

Matthew 25:14-30 English Standard Version (ESV)

The Parable of the Talents

14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants[a] and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Ok, Ok, enough preaching, enough teaching… as always, if you have any questions or comments about these thoughts, leave them below or shoot me a text, email or even an old fashioned phone call!